BEST GEORGE CARLIN QUOTES

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. – George Carlin

The planet is fine. The people are fucked. – George Carlin

Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money. – George Carlin

When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. – George Carlin

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. – George Carlin

In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem. – George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. – George Carlin

I don’t have pet peeves – I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. – George Carlin

Some people see the glass half full; others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be. – George Carlin

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. – George Carlin

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