BEST RON SWANSON QUOTES

There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that’s lying about being milk. – Ron Swanson

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing. – Ron Swanson

Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness. – Ron Swanson

When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them. – Ron Swanson

If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party. – Ron Swanson

Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done. – Ron Swanson

It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. – Ron Swanson

My first ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My second ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My Mom’s name is Tamara…she goes by Tammy. – Ron Swanson

I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American. – Ron Swanson

I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food. – Ron Swanson