The Blue Brothers Quotes

Top 100 “The Blues Brothers” Quotes

The Blues Brothers is a movie released in the year 1980. Initially, it was started by Dan Aykroyd initially as a Night Live musical sketch by Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi.

 

Jake: Five grand? No problem, we’ll have it for you in the morning. Let’s go, Elwood.
Sister Mary Stigmata: No, no! I will not take your filthy stolen money!
Jake: Well then… I guess you’re really up Shit Creek.
Sister Mary Stigmata: I beg your pardon, what did you say?
Jake: I offered to help you… You refused to take our money. Then I said: I guess you’re really up Shit Creek!
Elwood: Christ, Jake. Take it easy man.
Jake: Oh shit!
Elwood: Jesus Christ!
Jake: Shit!

 

Elwood: This is glue. Strong stuff.

 

Gruppenfuehrer: I’ve always loved you.

 

Jake: What are we doing here?
Elwood: You promised you’d visit the penguin the day you got out.
Jake: Yeah? So I lied to her.
Elwood: You can’t lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No… fucking… way.

 

Toys ‘R Us Saleswoman: Will there be anything else?
Toys ‘R Us Customer: Yes, do you have the Miss Piggy?

 

Elwood: The new Oldsmobiles are in early this year!

 

Elwood: Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over.

 

Mrs. Tarantino: Mister Man! Mister Man! Mister Man. They left this card.

 

Elwood: I bet these cops got SCMODS.

 

Jake: SCMODS?

 

Mr. Fabulous: No, sir, Mayor Daley no longer dines here. He’s dead, sir.

 

Elwood: Tonight only, the fabulous Blues Brothers. Rhythm and Blues review. The Palace Hotel Ballroom. Route 16. Lake Wazzapamani. The fabulous Blues Brothers show band and review.

The Blue Brothers Quotes (2)
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Cook County Assessor’s Office Clerk: Can I help you?
Jake: This is where they pay the taxes, right?
Cook County Assessor’s Office Clerk: Right.
Elwood: This money is for the year’s assessment of Saint Helen of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage in Calumet City, Illinois.
Jake: 5,000 bucks, it’s all there pal…

 

Jake: Fuck this noise, man!

 

SWAT Team Commander: Excuse me! Did you see two guys come through here, black suits, black hats, one carrying a briefcase?

 

Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Cocktail Waitress: Oh, we got both kinds. We got Country AND Western!

 

Joliet Jake: This don’t look like No Expressway to me!
Joliet Jake: This don’t look like no expressway to me!

 

Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Joliet Jake: No, I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locus. It wasn’t my fault. I swear to god!

 

Mrs. Tarantino: Are you police?
Elwood: No mam, we’re musicians.

 

Willie ‘Too Big’ Hall: So, Jake, you’re out, you’re free, you’re rehabilitated. What’s next? What’s happenin’? What you gonna do? You got the money you owe us, motherfucker?

 

Elwood: You promised you’d visit the penguin the day you got out of prison.
Joliet Jake: Yeah… so I lied to her.
Elwood: You can’t lie to a nun, Jake. We’re gonna go in, and see the penguin.
Joliet Jake: No. Fucking. Way.

 

Jake: No problem.

 

Maury Sline: What are you guys gonna do? The same act? You wear the same verkakte suits?

 

Burton Mercer: Hi! Wanna hand me the mike?

 

Elwood: Illinois Nazis
Elwood: Illinois Nazis.
Joliet Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis
Joliet Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.

 

Elwood: Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail me now.

 

Elwood: We’re on a mission from God.

 

Murph: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.
Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That’s the best in the city Chicago.
Jake: How much?
Ray: 2000 bucks and it’s yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I’ll throw in the black keys for free.

 

Elwood: We’re on a mission from God.

 

Police Dispatcher: Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.

 

Mrs. Murphy: May I help you boys?
Elwood: You got any white bread?
Mrs. Murphy: Yes.
Elwood: I’ll have some toasted white bread please.
Mrs. Murphy: You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?
Elwood: No ma’am, dry.
Jake: Got any fried chicken?

 

Mrs. Murphy: Best damn chicken in the state.
Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
Mrs. Murphy: Y’all want anything to drink with that?
Elwood: No ma’am.
Jake: A Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: Be up in a minute

 

Elwood: Illinois Nazis.
Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.

 

Elwood: You don’t like it?
Jake: No I don’t like it…
Jake: Car’s got a lot of pickup.
Elwood: It’s got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
Jake: Fix the cigarette lighter.
Mrs. Tarantino: Are you the police?
Elwood: No, ma’am. We’re musicians.

 

The End: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank, half pack of cigarettes, it’s dark out, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

 

Elwood: Illinois Nazis
Joliet Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis!

 

Elwood: It wasn’t lies, it was just billshit
Elwood: It wasn’t lies, it was just billshit.
Elwood: Wasn’t lies, it was just… bullshit.

 

Jake: We’ll put the band back together, do a few gigs, we get some bread. Bang! Five thousand bucks.
Elwood: Yeah, well, getting the band back together might not that be that easy, Jake.
Jake: What are you talking about?
Elwood: They split, they all took straight jobs.
Jake: Yeah, so you know where they are. You said you were gonna keep in touch with them.
Elwood: Well… I got a couple of leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited or even wrote you, huh?
Jake: They’re not the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
Elwood: Well, what was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you, okay?
Jake: You lied to me.
Elwood: It wasn’t a lie, it was just bullshit.

 

Jake: Book us for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline: Hold it, hold it. Tomorrow night? What are you talking about? A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood: I know all about that stuff. I have been exploited all my life.

 

Tucker McElroy: Don’t you say a fucking word!

 

Mrs. Tarantino: Are you the police?
Elwood: No ma’am. We’re musicians.

 

Jake: How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
Father: What?
Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters… sell them to me. Sell me your children!

 

Elwood: There’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark out, and we’re wearing sunglasses.
Joliet Jake: Hit it!

 

Elwood: That’s just great Elwood, the day I get out of prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car.

 

Nathan's Tummy

Joliet Jake: How often does the train run by here?
Elwood: So often, you won’t even notice.

 

Joliet Jake: We need this gig!
Elwood: Were on a mission from God.

 

Corrections Officer: One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic.
Corrections Officer: One soiled. One black suit jacket, one pair black suit pants. One hat
Corrections Officer: black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.

 

Elwood: We’re so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois’s law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We certainly hope you all enjoy the show. And remember, people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there’re still some things that makes us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody.

 

Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.

 

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Sister Mary Stigmata: You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes.
Sister Mary Stigmata: Get out, and don’t come back until you’ve redeemed yourselves.

 

Elwood: The light was yellow, sir.

 

Elwood: Ow, you fat penguin!

 

Jake: Uh, Bob, about the money for tonight.
Bob: Oh, yeah, $200, and you boys drank $300 worth of beer.

 

Jake: How are you gonna get the band back together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those cops have your name, your address…
Elwood: They don’t have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.
Jake: 1060 West Addison? That’s Wrigley Field.

 

Burton Mercer: Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

 

Donald ‘Duck’ Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.

 

Jake: What’s this?
Elwood: What?
Jake: This car. This stupid car! Where’s the Cadillac?
Jake: The Caddy! Where’s the Caddy?
Elwood: The what?
Jake: The Cadillac we used to have. The Bluesmobile!
Elwood: I traded it.
Jake: You traded the Bluesmobile for this?
Elwood: No, for a microphone.
Jake: A microphone?
Jake: Okay I can see that. What the hell is this?
Elwood: This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect city police auction last spring. It’s an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving ’em away.
Jake: Well thank you, pal. The day I get outta prison, my own brother picks me up in a *police* car!

 

Jake: How often does the train go by?
Elwood: So often that you won’t even notice it.

 

Jake: We’re putting the band back together.
Mr. Fabulous: Forget it. No way.
Elwood: We’re on a mission from God.

 

Jake: It’s good to see you, sweetheart.
Mystery Woman: You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.
Jake: Oh, please, don’t kill us! Please, please don’t kill us! You know I love you baby. I wouldn’t leave ya. It wasn’t my fault!
Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake: No, I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
Mystery Woman: Oh, Jake… Jake, honey…
Jake: Let’s go.
Elwood: Take it easy.

 

Joliet Jake: We need $5000 bucks fast!
Maury Sline: 5 grand? Who do you think you are, the Beatles?

 

Elwood: And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois’s law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time…

 

Elwood: Hey, Jake. Gotta be at least seven dollars worth of change here.

 

The Cheese Whiz: Did you get me my Cheez Wiz, boy?

 

Jake: My name is Jacob Stein. I’m from the American Federation of Music. I’ve been sent to see if you gentlemen are carrying your permits.
Tucker McElroy: Our what?
Jake: Your union cards. May I see your cards please?
Tucker McElroy: Well, suppose we ain’t got no union cards and go in there and start playin’ anyway? Whatcha gonna do about that? You gonna stop us, Stein? Ha. You’re gonna look pretty funny tryin’ to eat corn on the cob with no fuckin’ teeth!

 

Jake: The band? The band.
Reverend Cleophus James: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
Jake: THE BAND!
Reverend Cleophus James: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
Elwood: What light?
Reverend Cleophus James: HAVE YOU SEEEEN THE LIGHT?
Jake: YES! YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST… I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!

 

Burton Mercer: This, gentlemen, is the elegant abode of one Elwood Blues.
Officer Mount: Thanks for your help, Mr. Mercer.
Burton Mercer: You know, I kind of like the Wrigley Field bit.
Officer Mount: Yeah, *real* cute.

 

Elwood: You got any white bread?
Mrs. Murphy: Yes.
Elwood: I’ll have some toasted white bread please.
Mrs. Murphy: You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?
Elwood: No ma’am, dry.
Jake: Got any fried chicken?
Mrs. Murphy: Best damn chicken in the state.
Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.

 

Jake: First you traded the Cadillac in for a microphone. Then you lied to me about the band. And now you’re gonna put me right back in the joint!
Elwood: They’re not gonna catch us. We’re on a mission from God.

 

Elwood: Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail me now.

 

Jake: $2,000 for this chunk of shit? C’mon, Ray.
Murph: I mean really, Ray, it’s used. There’s no action left in this keyboard.
Ray: E-excuse me, uh, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the action on this piano.

 

Mrs. Murphy: We got two honkies out there dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants.
Matt Murphy: Say what?
Mrs. Murphy: They look like they’re from the CIA, or somethin’.
Matt Murphy: What they want to eat?
Mrs. Murphy: The tall one wants white bread, toasted, dry, with nothin’ on it.
Matt Murphy: Elwood.
Mrs. Murphy: And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.
Matt Murphy: And Jake. Shit, the Blues Brothers!

 

 

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Curtis: Well, the Sister was right. You boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. You boys listen to what he’s got to say.

 

“’Joliet’ Jake Blues: What the hell is this?
Elwood Blues: This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect city police auction last spring. It’s an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving ’em away.
‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: Well thank you, pal. The day I get outta prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car!”

 

ly Lower Wacker Drive! If my estimations are correct, we should be very close to the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza!
Jake: That’s where they got that Picasso.
Elwood: Yep.

 

Trooper La Fong: They broke my watch!

 

Elwood’s Boss: Why is that, Elwood?

 

Jake: Maury, you gotta come through for us. We need $5,000 fast.
Maury Sline: $5,000? Who do you think you are, The Beatles?

 

Jake: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of the week.
Mr. Fabulous: Okay, okay. I’ll play. You got me.

 

Reverend Cleophus James: And now, people… And now, people… When I woke up this mornin’, I heard a distubin’ sound. I said When I woke up this mornin’, I heard a disturbin’ sound! What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls! I’m talkin’ ’bout the souls of mortal men and women, departed from this life. Wait a minute! Those lost angry souls roamin’ unseen on the earth, seekin’ to find life they’ll not find, because it’s too late! Tooooo late, yeah! Too late for they’ll never see again the life they choose not to follow. Alright! Alright! Don’t be lost when your time comes! For the day of the Lord cometh as a thief in the night!
Reverend Cleophus James: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! Can I get an AMEN?
Reverend Cleophus James: Can I get an AMEN?
Reverend Cleophus James: Well Well Well!

 

Bob: That ain’t no Hank Williams song!

 

Elwood: Shit.
Jake: What?
Elwood: Rollers…
Jake: No.
Elwood: Yeah.
Jake: Shit.

 

You have filthy mouths and bad attitudes…

 

Elwood: Hey you sleaze, my bed!

 

Reverend Cleophus James: Praise God!

 

Everybody Needs Someone To Love.

 

Elwood: I’m… I’m going to become a priest.

 

Nathan's Tummy

Elwood: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

 

Mrs. Murphy: Don’t you “Don’t get riled, sugar” me! You ain’t goin’ back on the road no more, and you ain’t playin’ them ol’ two-bit sleazy dives. You’re livin’ with me now, and you not gonna go slidin’ around witcho ol’ white hoodlum friends.
Matt Murphy: But babes, this is Jake and Elwood, the Blues Brothers.
Mrs. Murphy: The Blues Brothers? Shit! They still owe you money, fool.
Jake: Ma’am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we’re asking Matt here to do is a holy thing?
Elwood: You see, we’re on a mission from God.
Mrs. Murphy: Don’t you blaspheme in here! Don’t you blaspheme in here! This is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are just gonna walk right out that door without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt ‘Guitar’ Murphy!

 

Elwood: There are 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.

 

Elwood Blues: You promised you’d visit the “Penguin” the day you got out of prison.
‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: Yeah… so I lied to her.
Elwood Blues: You can’t lie to a nun, Jake. We’re gonna go in, and see the “Penguin”.

 

“Murphy ‘Murph’ Dunne: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.
Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That’s the best in the city of Chicago.
‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: How much?
Jay: 2000 bucks and it’s yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I’ll throw in the black keys for free.”

 

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Lobby Guard #1: Yeah! I just sent ’em down there.

 

SWAT Team Commander: Thank you!

 

Elwood: God bless you, sir.

 

Ray: Pardon me, but we have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray’s Music Exchange must be present. Now, may I help you?

 

Elwood’s Boss: Hello Elwood, sit down. What’s on your mind?

 

Elwood’s Boss: Well okay! Listen I’ll call payroll and have them get your severance pay ready.

 

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We’re on a mission from God….

 

Elwood: I gotta quit.

 

Elwood: People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman! Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it’s so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!

 

Ray: Breaks my heart to see a boy that young goin’ bad.

 

Reverend Cleophus James: The sad sack was sittin’ on a block o’ stone/Way over in the corner weepin’ all alone/

 

Curtis: The warden said, “Hey, buddy, don’t you be no square / if you can’t find a partner use a wooden chair!”

 

Mr. Fabulous: It’s a fucking barn. We’ll never fill it.

 

Jake: Take $1400 and give it to Ray’s Music Exchange in Calumet City. Give the rest to the band.

 

Murph: Hey, why’d they turn out the lights?

 

Willie ‘Too Big’ Hall: Maybe they blew a fuse.

 

Ray: Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock

 

Officer Mount: I don’t believe it. It’s that shitbox Dodge again!

 

Trooper Daniel: Those bastards are ours now!

 

Curtis: Do you guys know ‘Minnie the Moocher’?

 

Elwood: You want I should wash the dead bugs off the windshield?

 

How much for the little girl?

 

Joliet Jake: fix the cigarette lighter.

 

Elwood: You on the motorcycle… You two girls… tell your friends.

 

Head Nazi: Anybody with that kind of record is gonna make a mistake. I want all party members in the tri-state district to monitor the city, county and state police on their CBs. Mr. Blues is gonna fuck up, and when he does… he better pray the police get to him before we do.

 

Jake: Look at you, in those candy-ass monkey suits. And I thought I had it bad in Joliet.

 

“Elwood Blues: I’ll have some toasted white bread please.
Mrs. Murphy: You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?
Elwood Blues: No ma’am, dry.”

 

Burton Mercer: What number are we?

 

Father: Sir? Sir… sir… SIR!… SIR!

 

Curtis: Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way.

 

Jake: Disco pants and haircuts…

 

Mrs. Murphy: Everybody on the whole cell block / Was dancin’ to the Jailhouse rock.

 

Elwood: Yeah, lots of space in this mall.

 

Donald ‘Duck’ Dunn: Scoot over, goddammit.

 

“’Joliet’ Jake Blues: How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
Father: What?
‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters… sell them to me. Sell me your children!”

 

Prison Guard #1: Yeah, the Assistant Warden wants this one out of the block early. Wants to get it over with fast.

 

Burton Mercer: Thanks a lot.

 

Burton Mercer: Hi, this is car um…

 

Nathan's Tummy

Mr. Fabulous: Yes? How are your salads?
Father: The salads are fine. It’s just that we’d like to move to a new table… away from those two gentlemen.

 

Willie ‘Too Big’ Hall: At least we got a change of clothes, sucker. You’re wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.

 

Mr. Fabulous: Why? Have they been disturbing you?

 

Father: No, it’s just that… well frankly, they’re offensive. Smelling. I mean they physically smell… bad.

 

Elwood: Our blessed Lady of Acceleration, don’t fail me now.

 

Jake: Curtis, I don’t want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.

 

Curtis: Jake, you get wise. You get to church.

 

Elwood: Who *is* that girl?

 

Elwood: We’ll be all right if we can just get back on the expressway.
Jake: This don’t look like no expressway to me!
Elwood: Don’t yell at me.
Jake: Well whadda you want me to do, Motorhead?
Elwood: Try not to be so negative all the time. Why don’t you offer a little… constructive criticism?
Jake: You got us into to this parking lot, pal. Now you get us out!
Elwood: You want outta this parking lot?… O.K.

 

Willie ‘Too Big’ Hall: I say we give the Blues Brothers just one more chance

 

Donald ‘Duck’ Dunn: Why not? If the shit fits, wear it.

 

Elwood: Oh no.
Jake: What the fuck was that?
Elwood: The motor. We’ve thrown a rod.
Jake: Is that serious?
Elwood: Yup.

 

Elwood: Baby clothes…Jake: This place has got everything.

 

“’Joliet’ Jake Blues: How often does the train go by?
Elwood Blues: So often that you won’t even notice it.”

 

“Elwood Blues: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.
‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: Hit it.”

 

Elwood: This is definite

 

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Head Nazi: White men! White women! The swastika is calling you. The sacred and ancient symbol of your race, since the beginning of time. The Jew is using The Black as muscle against you. And you are left there helpless. Well, what are you going to do about it, Whitey? Just sit there? Of course not! You are going to join with us. The members of the American Socialist White Peoples’ Party. An organization of decent, law abiding white folk. Just like you!

 

Willie ‘Too Big’ Hall: You’ll never get Matt and Mr. Fabulous out of them high-payin’ gigs.

Jake: Oh yeah? Well me and the Lord, we have an understanding.

Elwood: dont worry thet wont catch us were on a mission from god.

 

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“Elwood Blues: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country and western.”

 

“No, I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! It wasn’t my fault, I swear to God!”
on why he didn’t go to his wedding

 

“People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman! Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it’s so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!”

 

‘Blue Lou’ Marini: I don’t think so, man! Those lights are off on purpose.

 

Jake: That Night Train’s a mean wine.

 

“’Joliet’ Jake Blues: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: Four fried chickens and a Coke.”

 

I hate Illinois Nazis.

 

“One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic.
One soiled.”
Jake Blues is released on parole and gets back all the things he wore when he was arrested

 

“They’re not going to catch us; We’re on a mission from God.”

 

“’Joliet’ Jake Blues: How are you gonna get the band back together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those cops have your name, your address.
Elwood Blues: They don’t have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.
‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: 1060 West Addison? That’s Wrigley Field.”

 

Elwood: And God bless the United States of America!

 

“You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes.”
after chasing ‘Joliet’ Jake Blues and Elwood Blues out of her office with a ruler for using foul language

 

Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!

 

Mystery Woman: Well Jake, you look just fine down there, slithering in the mud like vermin.

 

Yea – lots of space in this mall.

 

That ain’t no Hank Williams song. Rawhide!

 

Elwood: State County Municipal Offender Data System.

 

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